mysignsoflife

Happy January 13th, 2008

Women expect men to read their minds. There! I said it. 

We say yes when we mean no and many of the things we say don’t really mean what you think they mean.  I’m not saying it’s right, and I don’t suspect this trait is going to change anytime soon.  So, here are a few inside tips to help you understand…

#1 Fine:

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to stop talking.  

#2 Five Minutes:  

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.  Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.  

#3 Nothing:  

This is the calm before the storm.  This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.  

#4 Go Ahead:  

This is a dare, not permission.  Choose your actions carefully!

#5  Loud Sigh:  

This isn’t actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she knows you don’t understand what she is saying  and wonders why she is wasting her time standing around and arguing with you about nothing.  (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

#6 That’s Okay:

This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man.  That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

#7 Thanks:  

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint.  Just say ‘You’re Welcome’.  Although I must add ~ this is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ ~ that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’, that will bring on a ‘whatever’.

#8 Whatever:

This is a woman’s way of saying F— YOU!  

#9 Don’t worry about it, I got it:  

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself.  This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’  For the woman’s response see #3.

This was light and fun.  If you really want to learn more about the differences in male and female conversation styles check out Deborah Tannen’s book: “That’s Not What I Meant!”, how conversation style makes or breaks relationships.  Tannen is an internationally acclaimed expert on communication. 

S’all,